Tuesday, January 26, 2016

FIFTY SHADES OF OPPS!

Despite the perception that chastity belts were developed in the "medieval times" to protect fair maidens while their heroic knights were off in the holy lands battling battling in the Crusades, the truth is that they are a 18th and 19th century invention.

No surviving chastity belts exist from the medieval period. Examples on display in Europe have been tested revealing they date back to the early 19th century. Chastity belts featured a lock and key.

The chastity belt is back in the news thanks to an Italian
women
who sought the help of her local fire department after she lost her keys. The 60-year-old woman began using it as a form of protection after hearing stories of sexual violence!


It should come as no surprise that these contraptions had their zenith in the hay day of the prudish Victorian Era. They were typically used for two reasons - to protect women in the workplace from sexual assaults and to prevent the societal ill of masturbation! 

Masturbation became a popular scapegoat for most forms of physical and mental anguish. Men  and women suffered from the sin of self-abuse that led to wickedness, the ruination of the soul, consumption, heart disease and suicide! Girls were particularly susceptible to the evils of the secret sin. Many were not allowed to ride horses or bikes for fear that it might stimulate masturbation. 

Chasity belts, for men and women have remerged in our sexually permissive age. Their chief modern application is in role playing and BDSM. You can order DR. POLASKY'S APPROVED CHASTITY PROTECTOR on-line from Amazon for as low as $59.99.   

Last years release of  the movie adaptation of E.L. James's novel "Fifty Shades of Grey" led to a spike in calls to fire departments to assist people who became trapped in handcuffs, household items and intimate fetish devices. Amongst the emergencies included calls to free peckers from vacuum cleaners and a women in England whose husband's junk was locked in a titanium chastity belt.

The Consumer Product Safety Commission says the number of Americans who have headed to the emergency room with sex-toy-related debacles has just about doubled since 2007. 

I am some glad that I grew up knowing that masturbation was a sin punishable with a few Hail Mary's and a pair of glasses!


No comments: