I am seriously struggling
with the work place harassment and sexual harassment issues that have erupted
like a volcano releasing pent-up frustrations about both how women are treated
by some men in our society, and the inadequacy of our legal system.
Women, or men for that
matter, that have assaulted or harassed need to know that they can avail of
system that will take their allegations seriously. They need to know that they
will not be dismissed out of hand, shunned in future or re-victimized. Squaring
that with a justice system that errors on the side of giving the accused the
benefit of the doubt is very difficult.
I initially reacted to the
CBC’s outright expulsion of Jian Ghomeshi with outrage. It seemed like
overkill. The line between crime and sexual bliss present some cloudy
waters. Surely, I thought, he was part of a
conspiracy, the victim of a relationship that had soured.
That was until a
steady stream of reputable women came forward with similar and independent
revelations of their experience with Ghomeshi. Individually, every incident
created a he says, she says situation. Collectively, they showed an inescapable
pattern that went far beyond a misinterpretation of intentions. The hurting of women is
not basic to the sexual pleasure of men.
The outing of Ghomeshi was valid and necessary – women really
could not count on the justice system to intervene or protect them. The
preponderance of evidence is more than ample to confirm that he is an
assaulter.
These revelations reminded
me of how the serial abuse of Roman Catholic Priests went unbelieved for generations.
Surely a man of the cloth was beyond reproach. Every victim was tormented,
abused and powerless. Individually, they
were easy to dismiss or hush-up. It was not until one brave sole sought justice
that a torrent of was released tearing the scab of the hidden wounds of
hundreds of victims.
I can, not only imagine how
it would feel to be a victim of the evil of men like this, I have experienced
it. There never was the fear of being
believed, just the shame and the labeling. Great manipulators use shame,
threats, fear, embarrassment and doubt to re-victimize. You learn to
internalize, to balance, to hate and resent yourself – as much as the
perpetrator. That is, until you can no longer balance it and the damage takes
even more of your soul and your mind.
Rape and sexual harassment are real. There is a real chill in the
air. Has hysteria gripped the nation? Can we even have a sensible conversation
about the provocative subject of harassment?
Can men who do not agree with
extraordinary adjustments to the notion that Justice is blind even participate?
This defensive mind-set is at the heart of the escalating battle over what is
harassment, how we deal with it and the rights of the accused and the accuser.
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