Tuesday, September 25, 2012

DEALING WITH DISAPPOINTMENT



My middle guy has been working hard to make the Caps Atom All-Star Team this year. He attended hockey camps over the summer and put in a great effort all week at the try outs. He is really coming into his own! He made the cut, but an accident on Friday night has him distraught with the possibility of not being ably to play due to an injury.

An “epic fail” on Friday night on his scooter has changed the water on the beams. He landed on his hand. I was concerned that something was broken. He was able to move all of his fingers and rotate his hand, so we assumed nothing was broken. I applied some ice and kept his hand immobile for the night. In the morning the swelling gave me concern but he said he could move his hand and fingers. He asked us to tape his hand for the Saturday and Sunday try-outs. We did and he played good hockey.

After the game on Sunday, still in pain, the swelling not going down, Kris took him to the Janeway. SEVEN hours later a distraught Liam returned home, arm in a sling! His hand was broken. The doctors had to re-set it. He learned yesterday that he made the cut, but his recovery time will determine if he will make the team.

Hockey is not his life, but he is very disappointed. I know that children at some time in their lives will experience stress and trauma, but by building resilience, children are better able to manage stress and feelings of anxiety and uncertainty. Learning resilience is will certainly assist him in the future as he learns to  bounce back and adapt to all kinds of adversity, including trauma, tragedy, threats, setbacks and stress.  Adversity affects us all, I know the capacity to deal with and overcome challenges are important, but how do you explain that to a broken hearted ten year old.

We explained that when things don't turn out the way you hoped, it may seem like the end of the world. Things might not seem nearly so bad tomorrow. Hopefully he will recover quick enough to be back on the ice for the end of October.

Sometimes being a parent sucks when you really can not make the hurt go away!

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