Wednesday, April 4, 2012

BILL CLINTON VS THE TITANIC

Students at a local high school were assigned to read two books, 'Titanic' & 'My Life' by Bill Clinton.

One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!  His professor gave him an A+ for this report.


Titanic:    cost - $29.99
Clinton:    cost - $29.99

Titanic:    Over 3 hours to read
Clinton:    Over 3 hours to read

Titanic:       The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and  subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton:      The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and  subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:    Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton:    Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic:      In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton:    Ditto for Bill.

Titanic:       During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton:    Ditto for Monica.

Titanic:      Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton:    Let's not go there.

Titanic:      Rose gets to keep her jewellery
Clinton:    Monica is forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:      Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:    Clinton remembers Monica for the rest of his life.

Titanic:      Rose goes down on a vessel full of sea-men.
Clinton:    Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic:    Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton:    Bill goes home to Hilary - basically the same thing.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You have a warp and twisted mind Mr. Whittle... must be why we're friends.